Lingerie Cookies

When life hands you lemons......stop right there. If you are reading this, you know how to cook on some level, and realize how incredibly obtuse it is to claim that a lemon is something unfortunate to be handed.  You use the zest and juice in next to everything. Dale Carnegie, the author of this cliche, was a writer and lecturer: not a chef. He wrote the book How to Win Friends and Influence People. Great book, nice saying, but not incredibly inventive, and he hardly mentioned just how much love and influence you get from being the best chef in the kitchen. Lemons? Ha. I'd be annoyed if life handed me radishes.

Today, life handed out cards instead of produce. It handed me the "get out of work" free card. I got to stay home and wait for the cable repair guy. It's no trip to Disney Land but I'll take it. It handed my friend the "have a horribly painful pain in the @#$%&* procedure" card.....given our wicked humor, that of course meant some scantily clad and theme appropriate cookies. Since I got to spend the day at home it was perfect timing to spend all too much time placing itty bitty sugar pearls on cookies.....which earned me an interesting look from the cable guy. Yep. I explained but that didn't seem to help.

These little ditties would also work for bachelorette parties, or lingerie parties, or breast cancer awareness month...the possibilities are endless. Plus, it's super easy! If you have a heart cookie cutter you are good to go.

Enjoy! And may you have no pain-in-the-@#$%& reasons to make these cookies. They can't cure anything, but they will at least give somebody a good laugh!

Lingerie Cookies

½ cup + 6 Tbsp Unsalted Butter
3 cups + 3 Tbsp All Purpose Flour
1 cup Confectioners Sugar
1 Large Egg, lightly beaten
1 tsp Vanilla Extract or seeds from 1 vanilla bean

Cream together the butter (I do not allow butter to soften), sugar and any flavorings you’re using. Beat until just becoming creamy in texture. Beat in the egg until well combined, make sure to scrape down the sides of the bowl. Add the sifted flour and mix on low until a non sticky dough forms. Knead into a ball and divide into 2 or 3 pieces.

Roll out each portion between parchment paper to a thickness of about 5 mm. Refrigerate for a minimum of 30mins.

Once chilled, peel off parchment and place dough on a lightly floured surface.

Cut out cookies using a heart cookie cutter. Using a knife, cut off the tips of the hearts. Arrange shapes on parchment lined baking sheets and refrigerate for another 30mins to an hour.

Re-roll scraps and follow the above process until all scraps are used up.

Preheat oven to 350°F. Bake until golden around the edges, about 8-15mins depending on the size of the cookies.

Leave to cool on cooling racks. Once completely cooled, decorate with royal icing.

Royal Icing

2 ½ - 3 cups Confectioner’s Sugar, un-sifted
2 Large Egg Whites
2 tsp Lemon Juice
1 tsp Almond Extract, optional

food coloring, optional

Beat egg whites with lemon juice until combined. Sift the icing sugar to remove lumps and add it to the egg whites. Beat on low until combined and smooth. Divide icing between containers, if making multiple colors. Add food color and mix until incorporated.  Use immediately or keep in an airtight container.

Place icing into a piping bag with a very narrow tip. Draw the outlines of each bra or pantie per your choosing. Fill in the cups of the bra and decorate with sprinkles or other colors of royal icing.